General Stuff? Kinda?

 Hey blogspot!! I haven't forgotten about you I swear!

I just don't have a lot to talk about and I'm still just as tired and dissociative as I was for the last 3 posts but! Here I am anyways.

Here's a nice Homestuck song to listen to while reading that I've been kinda obsessed with lately:

(The Beginning of Something Really Excellent - Homestuck Vol 5-6.)

Homestuck in general has taken a center place in my life for a while now, more so in this past and current year than 2018-2019 when I was first in the fandom. I feel a strong connection to this media (obviously as you can tell by my entire blog) and its older eras and fanbase. Actually, I try to capture this era in my some of my drawings and while clearly I don't land on the mark too perfectly for a lot of them, I'm actively working on trying to perfect that sort of style because I think it would be really neat! Older Homestuck drawings are a little silly but some of them are just, mwah, early 2010's perfection. Really, I kinda feel like I was meant to be a lil older so I could truly be around for the 2012-2014 era of it, aka the freaking best/cringiest era of the fandom. I feel as if I was meant to born earlier just generally speaking. Either way, I still feel connected to it even as a measly 19 year old. I think Homestuck will be stuck with me for just a while longer, if it so feels like it.

I really do finally feel older than 16. I am mentally standing more so around 25 or 30, but at least I don't feel 16 anymore. I finally stepped away from the people who burden me, and I feel a little more free than before. I've been having a lot of realizations in general lately that there were/are a lot of people in my life who fucked up and either need to promptly leave or fix their mistakes and better themselves. Of course, I'm not exempt from this but I'm more surrounded by other people's wrongdoings than my own at this point in my life, having faced enough trauma for five normal 19 year olds probably. So many things are still locked away in the vault that is called my deep subconscious that I have yet to unearth because I was so scared and had to put it away to never relive them again. Unfortunately, one day I will be forced to so I can just relearn my childhood again.

So anyways! Today is the regular Friday update for Creatures of Sonaria (the Roblox game I love as of recent) where they're adding IDRABARK! Aka the best creature ever. Look at this thing:

It's a tier 2 (small) creature and I'm just so excited, I'm gonna make Davesprite & Neytiri skins with it! I just love it in general!!! The update comes out in a couple of hours heeheehe...

I've been taking walks throughout the week while I wait for a response from DQ about my application, and after yesterdays walk my legs are pretty sore, so once the update comes out I'll be playing pretty much all day while I rest. Which is awesome because I'll be joyous as fuck when playing as that feral tree man.

I finally ordered a new pair of glasses after almost 2 years since the last prescription (RIP my wallet). They should be coming soon and I'm also really excited for those, because I'll be able to see clearly especially while drawing!! They're a basic pair of black glasses but I haven't ever worn a black pair before, which will be interesting.

I've also been feeling a lot better mentally speaking recently, I'm still mentally ill obviously but it also coincides with feeling better physically, as I've been trying to eat better alongside getting a bit more physical everyday. I eat berries and fluffy bread for breakfast and try to have a little less sugar in my coffee. It's the little things that matter.

On the downside, I've been feeling a lot less motivated for drawing and just have less ideas in general, more so than usual. I hope I'm not losing my creativity totally, I may have lost a bit of it already but I would rather keep the last bits of it for the rest of my life, at least. I like drawing and expressing my ideas through a medium that I understand very well, as well as drawing things that make me happy and/or vent my thoughts.

Honestly, this is probably the best point in the year so far, considering it was all either extremely shit or just normal/neutral chronologically speaking. I can't wait for fall, and that's gonna make it all better, I fucking love fall. And when it gets chillier, I'll be able to go on those walks more often, if my schedule allows it if I do start working at DQ. Of course, everything still has the chance to get better, since it isn't great still and probably won't be for quite a long time.

Anyways! Thank you for reading my weird jumbly post this afternoon, or whenever you're reading it. Tune in at some other point in the month for the next post, for whatever it might be about. At the closer end of September, I might theme the blog to look more halloween-y if I so desire but we'll see!