stupid ship ramblings

 hi. i have a theory on davekat + johndave, hear me out.

so, davekat is canon yes? but what if i told you there's a chance dave was romantically interested in john before he was talking with karkat? and he dated karkat because john was busy with other people or so dave thought?

dave is bisexual, he's canonically dated jade and karkat, while john's sexuality is ambiguous (despite the "i am not a homosexual" line, which could easily be regarded as a statement to cover up the questioning sexual orientation of a queer teenage person). we see in the comic he's at least interested in women, considering his and roxy's relationship, but there's a grey area for his interest in men. he could be considered as bisexual or gay or some other sexuality. there is of course the definite possibility Almighty God Andrew Hussie intentionally wrote john to be a cishet teenage male with no doubts about such especially as it was 2009.

now, when dave was interested in john when they were 13, he probably thought john was straight, because as we saw, john never discussed anything outside of being straight, at least not that we see in the comic itself. we see clear signs within dave's dialogue and tone that he does genuinely love john, whether in a platonic or romantic way is uncertain but cmon. that subtext is crazy smelly with homosexuality. it also could just be another strange "dave being super ironic for no reason" moment.

(pg 1402)

uh, anyways, back to davekat. this all matters because at some point, we learn that trolls don't have a sense of bias towards gender or genitals when it comes to their orientation, so they date whomever. it can be assumed dave learns this information at some point as well whenever quadrants are explained to him. he forms a bond and friendship with karkat and decides to be with him because he knows kk wouldn't have a bias towards what he was, so there wouldn't be any discrimination or inclination for his gender. it's just two guys who like each other. in contrast, john is only ever slightly interested in rose because he was told to be with her and has a similar experience to dave+kat with roxy, who, afaik, do not canonically "date" each other in the comic proper. it is only shown in the epilogues - which are technically outside of canon and therefore not canon to me - that they are officially dating and become married and have a child and blah. 

i think these two teenagers who did like each other at some point (or at least one of them did) were told to like other people whether directly or indirectly and they followed suit because what were they gonna do, date each other? that's ridiculous. why would male best friends want to be gay???

but maybe i'm just fuckin mentally ill about johndave and are desperate for some extra canonicity for them which i'll never receive. :') i also despise davekat as it is an extremely overrated and cheesy ship that i just don't care for, never have never will.

thank you for reading my essay, plz check back on the 31st for the FIRST monthly special post!